Having let me hair and beard grow unfettered and unrestrained for well over a year, more like a year and half, or perhaps closer to 2*, I decided last week to chop it all off. There were 2 major reasons for that:
1. It was becoming difficult, almost to the point of impossible, to eat a peanut butter sandwich without also munching on a mouth-ful of beard hair with nearly every bite.
2. I may well start looking for a new job soon, and while it is somewhat doubtful that I will put much effort into this search, and even more doubtful that I will actually find something, I felt that it would certainly help to look somewhat more presentable should I actually have the chance to interview for a position. Should this mythical position have a fairly relaxed attitude towards facial hair growth, I will most likely let it all regrow.
Now, when you come back from vacation to work and with such a drastic change of appearance, it is only natural that people will notice, and make comments on it. I find some of these rather irritating, probably for no reason more than that I am a bitter, anti-social person who dislikes the majority of people at work, but maybe other people would find it irritating as well.** Anyway, I have identified the comments people most seem to enjoy making.
First type of people like to exclaim “Hey! You got a hair cut” or “Hey! You cut your beard” or some variant of this comment. I would not mind that one so much, but they always seem to say it as though it was something I was previously unaware of, as if I was walking along minding my own business, and they are trying to warn me I am about to step on a Rattlesnake. Believe it or not, I am not so oblivious as to be unaware of a major change to my hair/face, and don’t need it to be constantly pointed out.
Second type of person likes to ask you “Hey! Why’d you cut your hair/beard?” as though anything I do is any of their business. I always find it a little difficult to explain my actions in situations like this, because I do not want to have to explain the whole sandwich thing, and I do not necessarily want to advertise to people at work that I am planning to find somewhere else to work if I can. As a side note, there are often times when my actions truly do not have any reason at all. Sometimes, I do stuff for no other reason than just to do it. Kind of like the Joker. And that can be difficult to get people to understand at times.
The third type of person, and this one is actually somewhat rare, likes to ask “Hey, did you get a haircut or something?”. This type of person is clearly an idiot. Did my hair and beard all just magically reverse grow back into my head at an accelerated rate one night? Did I get caught head first in a wood-chipper but manage to pull out just in time to suffer no permanent damage outside of the loss of some hair? Of course I cut my hair and beard, and asking this question, not as some kind of wise-acre remark, but in a way which suggests they clearly do not know what could have happened to all that hair, lets me know that these people are the lowest form of life on earth.
Stay tuned for another made up word of the day, coming soon.
* I am not good at keeping track of time long term, I really have no idea how long exactly my hair and beard grew, but it was quite a while.
** Mike recently got a hair cut, and while he did not have the big beard, his hair was quite a bit longer than mine, and he found the responses just as irritating as I did, so I am not the only one.